The Dark Side of Gratitude Lists: An honest look at the trend
Someone has already told you gratitude lists are a good idea. Seems gratitude lists are the ultimate solution to feel... well, to avoid feeling anything but popsicle saccharine fake feels. (But if you want the one above, click here. I admit, it is quite clever and cute.)
Look, I don't want to make waves, but hear me out.
Stop defending your little bedside table collection of gratitude journals.
The good part:
Gratitude lists have become a popular tool for boosting mood and improving mental health. The idea is simple: write down a list of things you are grateful for each day, and focus on the positive aspects of your life. You get a nice little dopamine hit before you sink back down to the doldrums. The idea is to keep up with the gratitude lists to raise your base level emotions from WORST DAY EVER to CHEERFUL or at least FINE.
Simple enough, and yet, not really.
Because... the bad part:
Gratitude feels like a lot of pressure to always be happy and content. Gratitude can disguise itself as the inner parent pointing at your face and saying "Put a smile on that face!" or "Stop crying!" or my personal fave "Stop crying or I'll give you a real reason to cry."
HIDE EMOTIONS, PRONTO.
If you're struggling with negative emotions, especially during the February Blues where despondency and boredom and heaviness reign supreme, having someone hand you a gratitude journal is irritating and discounts your true emotions."Put a smile on that face!"
Which doesn't make us feel better. It makes us not want to hang out with that person.
In conclusion, while gratitude lists can be a useful tool for some, it is important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to mental health and well-being, despite what your bossy friends tell you. And if it doesn't work for you, you're not defective or need to judge yourself for not doing it right.
You can do any of these 3 things:
Add that person to your Shit List for a time. They might be better as happy June friends. They just don't excel at being February friends.
Light a scented candle and use the flame to burn your gratitude journal.
Try writing down or reviewing what is actually happening, not just the good stuff.
I like to do the OLD MAN MEDITATION.
This is when I sit still and close my eyes. I imagine myself as an old man walking out of the house he has lived in for a very long time. By now, he's figured out most things. He surveys his yard, his house. He's content with it. He also sees projects that need to be done. He also sees the failed dreams, what didn't work out. It's not a cottage by the sea. There is not a fancy car in the driveway.
He accepts it all. He breathes it all in. Then he goes back in the house and gets on with it.
I also like writing in my journal while listening to The Wong Janice play cello on YouTube.
Let us gaze at the nice colour combination on her shirt that matches the cello so nicely. Lovely!
Leonard Cohen once said he liked feeling morose. That's where all the good writing was lurking. Imagine what we wouldn't have if he was handed a gratitude journal. No Hallelujah!
