The lost lovely company of strangers
I've been pondering the tenuous connections and how they have just disappeared with all our various forms of lockdown since the beginning of the pandemic. The coffee shop faces. The interesting encounters. The people we intersect with, but might not even talk with most days in a regular routine.Those on the Périphérique of our lives.The Périphérique is the ring road that surrounds central Paris. Living within the ring has a certain je ne c'est quoi about it. Living outside the ring probably means you're not nearly as snooty as those of us obsessed with the inside of the ring.The inner circle of our friendships. That's happening. We try Zoom. We call. We text. We Thumbs Up.It's the other people... the faces we know but whose names we don't... they are missing. Even the wish to see a familiar face is gone, or the hope of an interesting encounter. We meet more people and get more job opportunities from those on the outer edges of our relationships than from those in our inner circle. The connections are tenuous and we like it that way. If it doesn't work out, no problem. No weirdness.I remember having this crush on this guy at my coffee shop. Sometimes my day's happiness would hinge on that daily morning encounter. Maybe that's not healthy either but it sure gave a spring in my step during some dreary days. If this pandemic happened during the time I had my eyes on that guy, I'd be seriously bummed.The only people we are, and should be, seeing are our inner circle and the cashiers. We shouldn't even be tempting others with invitations because it puts them in a situation where it is difficult to decline. Even colleagues are harder to read with face coverings, so we don't bother. We move on, zombie-like, in a half state of humanness. This article states "Strip out the humanity, and there’s nothing but the transaction left." The article also mentions this startling fact:
"...social isolation increases the risk of premature death from any cause by almost 30 percent... People maintain hygiene, take their medication, and try to hold themselves together at least in part because those behaviours are socially necessary, and their repetition is rewarded. Remove those incentives, and some people fall into despair, unable to perform some of the crucial tasks of being alive. In people at risk for illness, lack of interaction can mean that symptoms go unnoticed and arrangements for medical care aren’t made. Humans are meant to be with one another, and when we aren’t, the decay shows in our bodies."
Concerning.After the Paris attacks in 2015, I was desperate to find familiar faces. My friends were fine, but the faces whose names we don't know, whose contact information would seem odd to have... those people. How are they? Where are they? There was a moment on our street when we were huddled with people, each of us trying to find out about someone. We would describe "the older gentleman with 'the hat'." Someone would nod. "Ah yes, saw him at the market yesterday." Or "The cat lady... She's fine but frazzled. Delivered her groceries this afternoon." (This is still a service in France) Even the post office staff who are difficult and stern whenever I ask for too many stamps (!!!) seemed genuinely glad to see my familiar face.There are weird side effects cropping up.
- A lot of things in a lot of online shopping carts. Not buying, just mindless shopping.
- Went to the pharmacy the other day and even the compression socks were looking stylish.
- Amélie's dollies have all been getting sick and have been sleeping under washcloths.
- Rereading books to visit beloved characters as a sort of salve on the current situation.
- Complete delight when a new blog post is available from some of my favourite bloggers. Here are five:
These bloggers have been at it a long time. So many bloggers have stopped, including myself. Somewhere along the line the world's gaze moved to Instagram. (But that just makes me put more clothes in shopping carts these days.) Getting a new blog post is great fun. Something nice to look at in the inbox full of GAP emails and junk I signed up for just to save 10% on my first purchase.Ugh. Where is the humanity, indeed?!?!?! If you want my blog posts in your inbox as a nice treat in the otherwise monotonous half-life we are in, sign up here. I'm going to focus more on blog posts. I just think it's nice to write nice things for nice people who might find it nice. I want it to feel like a good cup of tea. Plus, I'm trying to keep you alive. See 30% stat above. YIKES.If you're already reading this from your inbox, you are the best and I love you so much you are now in the inner circle, my périphérique.If you have blog recommendations, please let me and everyone know in the Comments section. (I know it's glitchy sometimes. I know you're not a robot.)PS My new book, DEAR PARIS is out. It's the entire collection of 140 illustrated letters about Paris, European cities and other fun travel destinations. Amazon link and other links here.
Now go out there and wave profusely to strangers as if your life depended on it. Because it just might.
