“Death is one less f@#king headache if you ask me.”
A writer friend of mine sent me a few samples of his work. He’s a cheery guy when I talk to him so it’s a bit of a disconnect to read his raw, angry writing. The above quote was taken from one of his stories. I didn’t add his name because I suspect he’d have to deal with a lot of raised eyebrows and questions.
When I read the quote posted above I paused and thought… been there.
Who hasn’t been there? Where it would just be easier to be done with it all.
I’m not saying I’m suicidal, but there are times when I, too, have thought that death would be one less fucking headache. The thing is, I’ve thought these thoughts at random not-so-dramatic times. I’ve thought it:
- In a quiet moments while I’m waiting to get my oil changed and the sun is too bright.
- When I’m in line to get a coffee and the person ahead of me orders beans, which always takes longer.
- When I wake up and think it’s Thursday but it’s only Tuesday.
- In the last hour before the plane lands. But because I’m on a plane, I push the thought away because that’s no way to go.
- When I’m packing and feeling indecisive.
- Waiting for the waitress.
- At Target.
- In the Whole Foods parking lot. There are a lot of angry yogis out there.
This list makes it sound like I think this thought all the time. I don’t. In fact, when I do think this thought, it usually comes out of left field because I’m not actually in a bad mood, not depressed and not even unhappy. Perhaps I’m a bit impatient.
Okay, probably more than just a little impatient.
But then there are the small random moments that make life worth living. Like today, for instance. I was eating lunch with my coworkers. People’s Sexiest Man Alive (2010) magazine issue just came out, which probably made sexy men the topic of discussion. (BTW, this year Ryan Reynolds is the sexiest man alive. I didn’t see that coming, but that’s only because he’s Canadian and us Canadians never see that coming.)
The web guy stopped eating his spicy thai dish, looked up and said, “You know who is a handsome man? Lorenzo Lamas.”
Where did that come from? When did Lorenzo Lamas become top of mind? The randomness made me feel joy at the cellular level. Lorenzo Lamas is in fact a handsome man, but the randomness of this statement has kept me giggling for hours.
It’s a small thing, and I never thought I’d say it, but Lorenzo Lamas sure makes life worth living.